Sunday, December 28, 2008

You are the sum of your experiences but not your future. Your experiences are valuable for the future of others. In my experiences I have become wise and empowers me to step out and help self/others – but God says great – give it away and go get more instead.

Can you surrender control – you can be in control. I can sit at the throne and hear God’s voice. We try to bring the mechanisms in. Let God bring the mechanisms, and we come with the desires.

We want an outcome that we see in our head, we want to be in control. If I already know what the future looks like then I am already prepared for it. If I have it in my heart what the future holds and release control to God, he is faithful to work with us.

Everything I do I need to go back to beginners mind. If we don’t have a beginners mind then all the mechanisms come into play. Plan b – sacrificial lamb provided to Abraham.

I hear and know the voice of God. I trust my life to him. I hear your voice. Do I have a relationship to trust?

God is always for us under this covenant. He will never be against us.

Where have we heard God that we have heard God?

Behave and believe – are they parallel?

Do I behave like God loves me?

Have you died with unrevealed potential? Greek thought separates mind and heart – they are to be one by Hebrew thought.

Most of us have 10 hours of work and 10 min w/ God. Jesus never just prayed on the way to the healing. He drew apart for solace. The only time you are alone is with God. The rest of the time you are to be with others.

Many of us have a staunch belief or stance – this is what God said to do, and whatever it takes I will do this thing. That is nothing more than stubbornness. If we remain staunch about what God has said, we will fail in 2009. our faith has shifted to being in a thing rather than him. Give him freedom to answer what he said, rather than hold him hostage to it. This has everything to do with you and me, not about the things. Quit holding this thing up to God, “God you said, God you said” - he knows what he said.

Can I let the thing die? It holds me back from what he really wants to do.

2009 is like 2008 on steroids…. Live by the spirit of god, can’t help but take advantage of the opportunities, finances will happen as a result not the means, it can’t determine what we are going to do or not going to do, it is a result of the cool stuff God has me doing

Rom. 12:1-2

Most wisdom says only enter into it if you have experience

I am the opportunity I want to be the opportunity magnet

God is going to reinstate virgin birth. I’ve never done this thing before but I’m going to do it. Leave the old patter of “that isn’t how we used to do it” your past is not disqualifying you anymore.

Get soaking wet, frolic in it for a while. Yell – I’ve fallen in it and its great. God can’t wait to use those that have no fear of failing, falling down, or making a mistake. David wasn’t afraid of messing up, dancing naked entirely undignified.

The greatest hinderance to our future success is our past success. Write down your vision. Don’t create all the mechanisms, you’ll limit your futures ability to be all that it was created to be. Offer it all.

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

Our minds have been fashioned after and conformed to superfiical customs. Relearn a whole new way of life. The cross has opened up a way for us to do that. We think we get saved and god makes us think differently. The bible distinguishes between salvation and being born again. They are 2 very different things. The children of Israel were delivered by the blood, crossed through the red sea. They entered into the wilderness. They weren’t any different. They made the same mistakes. They went back to idolatry. It was better to go back to Egypt. They were there only one day. They were saved, but not born again. Their mind wasn’t changed. Their spirit man was not united or flowing with His. When stuff started happening, we started saying it would be better if it was years ago again.

Be transformed – changed, metamorphosis. Does a caterpillar look like a butterfly? Go in one way and come out so completely differently that you can’t even relate the two. Has my mind had that kind of change take place?

If I want to be the one that has the opportunity – the transformation must take place.

New ideals, new attitude – that must change. We are the agents of the good stuff. Time spent with the Father makes us the catalyst of change.

Conformed & transformed

Conformed – fashioned alike, adapted to the same pattern, to be in union with or associated with the world. We as the church are completely called to the world but should no way be like the world. Be a person that flows with. Aikido with surroundings. I like to confront against things. God says you can do that all you want, but you haven’t flowed with. You need to flow with for the change to happen. Flow with the world, and you change the way you think. I can only change if my mind is different. We can only flow with if we think like them. The church and the world have been at odds. The gospel of the kingdom is that you are a prodigal. You are not an ugly awful sinner but a child that has lost his or her way. It doesn’t change that they sinned, but has everything to do with their identity. Scaring them in to avoid hell doesn’t work. Fear never keeps you. The new message is that you are a son that lost his way, you have forgotten who you are. The church must change the message.

Now I can hang out with the world. Be with them. How’s it working for you to be so opposite. They are drawn by someone that thinks differently while with them. He only went to the synagogue to rebuke. He hung with the sinners to declare, I love you.

Everything on the inside of us screams that I want to be one with my brother. Our mind often thinks differently. If you try to do this without a renewed mind you are dead in the water.

Transformed – a literal metamorphasis. Eph. 4.

In seeker sensitive model we create a way that makes the acceptance so easy. When thinks don’t go as well as they do in the church they fall back. The message of the gospel is confrontational. We flow with by building relationship that magnetizes, but the message of the gospel does confront.

Eph 4:17 – 24 if you have heard him an taught in him, just as truth is in Jesus – can I sit in front of my bible or a teacher and yet not hear Him. Be renewed in the mind.

What we do in the natural is connected to what we do in the spiritual we’ve created an imagined scenario that as long as I think it and not say it. What you think is who you are.

The shaking happening in life right now is happening because he wants you because he will do whatever it takes to have your heart so that you can build with him. It will remain. Everything that can be shaken will be shaken. Disconnect from this and build with God.

Our circumstances shape who we are.

Training and equipping to renew the mind at WHO. Connect what you believe with how you think. Think bigger than you thought a year from now. Have something you never could have had before because of that connection. Release the mind of the soul/flesh and be with the spirit.

The stuff in your gut must get into your brain. This must come to reality now. The orderly arrangement of things can become entirely disordered and we will see order. We are seeing it before our eyes.

The joseph group – asked by a European nation to advise how to run the nation.

Develop how you think.

Morpheus was relaxed and not think of the limitations of the circumstances. Neo faces the fear. Starts striving.

Striving doesn’t work. Renewing comes from surrender and resting in the presence of the father. It is god’s work being done in us, not us doing it ourselves for him. Surrender and do it with him.

Saturday, December 27, 2008



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Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Who's glory is this for?

In the past few weeks, a number of great opportunities have come to me. I haven't intentionally sought these out. Rather, my talents became visible to others and they are jumping at the opportunity. In my own local area, I've been rather unnoticed. A fun and unexpected story of connecting with an organization that fits the bigger plans of connecting and training nations unfolded. In the midst - I shared with my leaders and pastors. They were rather surprised - more because they weren't informed on what I've been doing lately, and the unexpected manner of the opportunities arriving. Like Jesus -

Mark 6:4 But Jesus said to them, A prophet is not without honor (deference, reverence) except in his [own] country and among [his] relatives and in his [own] house.

Honor hasn't been withheld because of anything about me. Just as I have gone unnoticed - it is easy to overlook others as well because we are used to seeing them in a specific context. Jesus was a carpenter. His friends and family knew him as this. The comfort of acquaintances is great, but not being noticed is also not so great.

Sound a bit selfish yet? That depends - who's glory is all this for? Who am I "doing" things for? For others - and for what reason? I admit, at times it is just a selfish soulish reaction - I help so I feel loved. I am alert to this, and catch myself in the process.... learning to just say NO and being free of earning anything has been amazing. Yet - the real glory - who all this is for..... I have been given talents that I want to see multiplied - and they are for the glory of the King.

Ex 33:18 And Moses said, I beseech You, show me Your glory. 19 And God said, I will make all My goodness pass before you, and I will proclaim My name, THE LORD, before you; for I will be gracious to whom I will be gracious, and will show mercy and loving-kindness on whom I will show mercy and loving-kindness. 20 But, He said, You can not see My face, for no man shall see Me and live. 21 And the Lord said, Behold, there is a place beside Me, and you shall stand upon the rock, 22 And while My glory passes by, I will put you in a cleft of the rock and cover you with My hand until I have passed by. 23 Then I will take away My hand and you shall see My back; but My face shall not be seen.

In what I choose to do with the talents, I seek to let it not be about self. I seek instead to let it be in furthering the Kingdom work. Kingdom isn't mass duplicating churches or proselytizing. It is advancing and benefitting the greatness in store.

Matt 25:14 For it is like a man who was about to take a long journey, and he called his servants together and entrusted them with his property. 15 To one he gave five talents [probably about $5,000], to another two, to another one--to each in proportion to his own personal ability. Then he departed and left the country. 16 He who had received the five talents went at once and traded with them, and he gained five talents more. 17 And likewise he who had received the two talents--he also gained two talents more. 18 But he who had received the one talent went and dug a hole in the ground and hid his master’s money. 19 Now after a long time the master of those servants returned and settled accounts with them. 20 And he who had received the five talents came and brought him five more, saying, Master, you entrusted to me five talents; see, here I have gained five talents more. 21 His master said to him, Well done, you upright (honorable, admirable) and faithful servant! You have been faithful and trustworthy over a little; I will put you in charge of much. Enter into and share the joy (the delight, the blessedness) which your master enjoys. 22 And he also who had the two talents came forward, saying, Master, you entrusted two talents to me; here I have gained two talents more. 23 His master said to him, Well done, you upright (honorable, admirable) and faithful servant! You have been faithful and trustworthy over a little; I will put you in charge of much. Enter into and share the joy (the delight, the blessedness) which your master enjoys. 24 He who had received one talent also came forward, saying, Master, I knew you to be a harsh and hard man, reaping where you did not sow, and gathering where you had not winnowed [the grain]. 25 So I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. Here you have what is your own. 26 But his master answered him, You wicked and lazy and idle servant! Did you indeed know that I reap where I have not sowed and gather [grain] where I have not winnowed? 27 Then you should have invested my money with the bankers, and at my coming I would have received what was my own with interest. 28 So take the talent awayfrom him and give it to the one who has the ten talents. 29 For to everyone who has will more be given, and he will be furnished richly so that he will have an abundance; but from the one who does not have, even what he does have will be taken away. 30 And throw the good-for-nothing servant into the outer darkness; there will be weeping and grinding of teeth. 31 When the Son of Man comes in His glory (His majesty and splendor), and all the holy angels with Him, then He will sit on the throne of His glory.

Matt 6:33 But seek (aim at and strive after) first of all His kingdom and His righteousness (His way of doing and being right), and then all these things taken together will be given you besides

So - the glory is to be reflected back from Him. Like Moses saw the glory - and his face radiated it back, I want to reveal His glory and not create my own. When I seek first the Kingdom - the glory shines out as His Spirit dwells within. Let every veil be stripped away.

2 Corinthians 3:18 And all of us, as with unveiled face, [because we] continued to behold [in the Word of God] as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are constantly being transfigured into His very own image in ever increasing splendor and from one degree of glory to another; [for this comes] from the Lord [Who is] the Spirit.
Now - to honor... honor those that have sought after His glory, His kingdom, His plans. Honor Him above all - but share in how He honors others as well.

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Monday, December 15, 2008

waking up

So I've let some major parts of life stay go unchecked. My fears and ideas of (lack of) worthiness clearly stand out when I look at the shambles of my car, my home, and my time spent with friends. Sounds rather dark today... but it isn't entirely. When I pause to think about what will be changed.. there are some pretty obvious things:

  1. deal with mail
  2. process voicemail
  3. return phonecalls
  4. clean house (and pack?)
  5. get over my hangups around certain friendships
I beat myself up royally about some things. I place these insane expectations upon myself, entirely negating my need to be with Him. I invent how things must be, then procrastinate on accomplishing them as I can't even meet my own expectations. Seems a bit pointless - but the cycle goes. The need is - be with Him - trust Him entirely, completely, fully. I will not know what tomorrow holds, but I know He wants to be with me, and partner with me in all things.

I foolishly have believed that everything was dependent upon my action or lack there of. Yes - there is a degree of personal responsibility that involves doing... but again - I am loved and accepted by Him, and by friends and family - no matter what I do or don't do. Who I am - that is still loved. Eternal matters are not limited to this being about me.

My focus has been entirely too long one who I am - and the faults I see. It isn't fun to see the greatness in me, to challenge myself to risk vulnerability. I'd say it's hard, but only because I make it that way. I work it out in my mind that this isn't simple - to look at God's creation and see things as He does? Why do I resist that? Lack of trust, acceptance... and looking at the wrong thing. I must focus instead on the eternal perfect Lover of my spirit, body, and soul.

I must step out of my way - get apart and be with. I tune out all the noise of life, including my worries - and reset my gaze upon what matters.

Psalm 95:6 O come, let us worship and bow down, let us kneel before the Lord our Maker [in reverent praise and supplication].
Luke 5:16 - But He Himself withdrew [in retirement] to the wilderness (desert) and prayed

Wait in this place - listen, be with, become undone, and life up your eyes.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

I Am

I am a worthy abundant and personally responsible woman.

I am His and He is mine.

Posted with LifeCast


Greater things are yet to come
Greater things have yet to be done in this city

There is no one like our God

I'm left with my face planted in the carpet
His greatness is a sight to behiold
Watch listen tune in. This matters

Geolocate this post

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Saturday, December 13, 2008

My Own Great Awakening

Self-reflection is an interesting thing. Upon discovering and participating in self-awareness in light of faith - it becomes this ongoing pursuit of seeing God's perfect love in all areas. Sure, some can delve into the concept that all that is in the future depends upon themselves - thus removing God from the equation. Others entirely rely so much upon God to do this or that... but yet - He seems to be calling us in to say something different. God can be referred to as Prince of Peace, Christ, Lord of Lords, King of Kings, Valiant Warrior, - we can envision a host of a great army... yet we can also envision the great lover of our souls. Jesus is called the bridegroom, and we - the church - His Bride.

Last Saturday I was reading in Song of Songs - catching a glimpse of the love expressed between Solomon and his bride - a reflection of Christ and the church. It says:

SOS 4:9You have ravished my heart and given me courage, my sister, my [promised] bride; you have ravished my heart and given me courage with one look from your eyes, with one jewel of your necklace.

Could it really be - the eternal God, the Lord of Lords - would look upon me and say I have, we have, ravished His heart? What am I that He should be ravished by me? Who am I to instill courage? On my own - I seek to inspire that courage in others.. .yet I find this to no avail. Taking personal responsibility to inspire others to greatness results in time wasted and no activity when the source is in my efforts and reasoning. Yet - as I surrender all my activity and doing - and just love on Him with all I've got... I find I'm not "doing" anything. I'm practicing what some call "be with".

Luke 10:39 And she had a sister named Mary, who seated herself at the Lord’s feet and was listening to His teaching. 40 But Martha [overly occupied and too busy] was distracted with much serving; and she came up to Him and said, Lord, is it nothing to You that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me [to lend a hand and do her part along with me]! 41 But the Lord replied to her by saying, Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things; 42 There is need of only one or but a few things. Mary has chosen the good portion [that which is to her advantage], which shall not be taken away from her.
Mary seated herself at His feat, and just listened. She too could have been preoccupied doing all sorts of things. Yet, we find her sitting and listening. She wasn't credited with asking any questions, requesting to be taught, or trying to do much of anything beyond absorb what was going on. Sure - there is plenty of time for doing things - and faith without works is dead. However, works gets us no where fast. Being with Him is better than all the doing we can invent. Operating from this place of rest, we experience that we are already loved. We do not learn this by reading about it, but living it. Experiencing being apart with Him is like none other.

So - we draw apart, we think, we pray, and we put all our stuff down to experience Him. We catch sight of the divine love He has for us and we learn we ravish His heart. He longs for us to experience Him - to know Him beyond intellect. Quiet down our busy souls and we find such an amazing desire continue to grow. God desires this experience, just as much He desires to partner with us. He's able to control, and in some situations may do just that. The plans though are to create in us the desires of our heart, that we may draw in to Him, and let Him partner with us in these plans. I have little interest left for doing things out of my own efforts. This doesn't work for me... and isn't meaningful enough to make it worth my interest. What I now want is nothing short of experiencing Him.

With one look, I have inspired courage and ravished His heart. This is nothing I can claim comes from my own efforts or any doing. He has chosen to freely love me, to call me His own, to pursue me without reservation. He has chosen the gift of love. I long to experience much more of Him. I want to know when I ravish Him, and to be completely undone over His pursuit of me. This place of union creates such a partnership in all things.

Listening to: Mansions by Burlap to Cashmere

Let your mansions live inside me
Love me, like me, give me, guide me


I've let this blog drift away for a number of years. I've thought about the process of blogging - business, personal, and for various other causes. I have created my own blog under my own domain name. Yet, I find a longing to have an outlet for the other thoughts rambling through my head regarding faith, personal challenges, and a variety of other life items. This blog is now officially reborn - not for the intent to be cute, pretty, or my finest designs... but for my raw unfiltered thoughts on life. Pondering reality is thus reborn.