relax

Another day of stress. I think the days when I post, I seem to be venting about all the insane stuff going on. I continue to see God working in small ways though as I go through this process. I realize that much of the stress is beyond my control... yet I am the tool being used. I am just along for the ride, though I may be the vehicle being used.

I've seen a few small changes that have huge implications. A few hearts are softening on matters of faith, God, and all the rest.

Still, I realize how human I am. I want to fix it all... I want to remain the strong one for others.... I want to be the one to point them to Christ. Yet, I drop it all to realize I cannot change hearts... that isn't my job. I can't fix it, I'm not capable. I can't handle it, I'm too human for that. Standing before the cross I realize, He wants and is very capable to do all this and much more. I am created to crave His love, enjoy His presence, and be delighted when He does more or I do see progress. Until then, I am satisfied to know He is the reason, the driving force, and motivation.