Monday, January 05, 2009

No longer a scapegoat

Leviticus 16:8Aaron shall cast lots on the two goats--one lot for the Lord, the other lot for Azazel or removal.

9And Aaron shall bring the goat on which the Lord's lot fell and offer him as a sin offering.

10But the goat on which the lot fell for Azazel or removal shall be presented alive before the Lord to make atonement over him, that he may be let go into the wilderness for Azazel (for dismissal)....

21And Aaron shall lay both his hands upon the head of the live goat and confess over him all the iniquities of the Israelites and all their transgressions, all their sins; and he shall put them upon the head of the goat [the sin-bearer], and send him away into the wilderness by the hand of a man [b]who is timely (ready, fit).

22The goat shall bear upon himself all their iniquities, carrying them to a land cut off (a land of forgetfulness and separation, not inhabited)! And the man leading it shall let the goat go in the wilderness.

I was given a word the other night that God is cutting off the pattern of being a scapegoat. I value the input of the one who delivered this word to me, but can verify she had just met me that evening and had no idea of the life patterns I may have ever had.

I have looked back at various points in life and knew people often take out their frustrations upon me. I also see at times I've brought others junk upon myself - trying to bear with them in their burdens. However, Christ has paid the full price - we do not need to sacrifice goats, rams, lambs, or any other animals to enter into the Holy of Holies. We can boldly go before the throne of God. I don't need to offer myself up as the scapegoat either. I have helped others to feel loved. I want them to appreciate me - so I intentionally have gone above and beyond what I needed to do just to know I am loved. I also have allowed others too much liberty in how they treat me. With a heightened sense of the spiritual realm at times, I must not take it personally when I know things are off kilter. I must simply remain in Him. My identity is found in being with Him.

As such, I've made some good changes lately. I've freed myself from helping others in self-seeking purposes. This applies especially when they only come to me because they need something. True, the point of the corporate church is to supply the needs of each other. However, if that is the only reason we seek to connect, it is simply a misuse of a relationship. If no actual relationship remains, there is little interest in meeting any needs. If I help others, it won't be based out of my need for love. My source in that is Christ - and the doors He opens up to reveal that. If I help others, it is out of a love for Christ. I am not obligated to help everyone that comes my way - and shouldn't do so in a self-seeking effort.

In some senses, I'm an overload of unsolicited information. I realize at times this is completely fine. The goal is to move constantly in step with His Spirit. If He calls me to speak, move, do, be anything at all to anyone else - then I rank that more important than the others involved, including my own reluctance to speak up at times. God can show up as a calm gentleman with all peacefulness, but He also can show up to turn tables over. The key is - to be apart and still enough before Him to know how He wants to show up through me and stick to just that.

I've cut back on what information I share and in which avenues. Transparency is not nakedness. If others have any remote interest in me and what I'm doing - I am transparent before them. If God speaks to me to become more so, I will. If I am to be less revealing, then I accept His input on this as well.

In learning the balance of relationships in many areas of life, I realize all I need to do is remain in as a branch connected to the branches. I simply have found "Where I Belong" - and that is in the Holy of Holies. I am not a scapegoat any longer. I do not take upon myself anything unnecessarily, nor do I accept others putting their stuff upon me. I do fully accept being found in Him, and bearing with others as He calls me to.

Also check out this book from Mike Bickle on "The 7 Longings of the Human Heart"


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