Thursday, October 28, 2004

running

Ah, the end of presentation week... a sigh of relief .... I still have all those research papers to grade though. Sounds like a fantastic weekend??? Okay, so if I get up early on Saturday morning - as in... set my alarm to be up by 9 - I'll be done in time to go to the show Saturday night. I'm hoping to be so productive. Wishful I know... but maybe a miracle will happen. It's been nearly 2 months since I've been to a good rock show.

So, the first practice went okay. Got to work with 2 really great kids. Hope the stick with the team.

Been thinking about the grace of God, and how free He is to give it. I've been digging through the book of Romans... and Romans 5 is particularly hitting me over and over. Mankind is born sinful, God knows before we are born that it will happen. Daily we face what we'd refer to as sin... in losing our temper, lying, cheating, for that matter... being a lawbreaker by speeding down the road. Yet God (this phrase indicates soooo much hope), God, the ultimate creator of everything with omnipotent powers beyond my understanding, chose to provide restoration and the ability to overlook every single thing I've done that causes offense. God, who cannot stand to be in the presence of sin, made a way for me, while I was yet in my sinful ways. Not only has God overlooked the very things that should cause me to spend eternity without Him, He determined to send His only son to endure Hell just to be with me... I mean... who am I that He should do this for me. I'm the one that has a hard time taking a compliment, or feeling worth caring about... and while in that mindset... Christ paid my price. What I've done, God cannot and will not tolerate. However, When God looks at me, He doesn't see all my wrongs. He looks at me through the eyes of Christ who says "Father forgive them".

The fact that this grace, which I can never earn, is issued to all who not only believe that Christ has paid our price, but also who want to pursue a life for His honor - to live as He desires. Those that run after such things, God not only lavishes His amazing love, but also desires to spend time with me. When I was still seperated from His presence, I had nothing worth living for... worth striving after. Yet, the reasons can be heard like a whisper in the wind. God is near enough to feel the heartbeat, the breath on my face, the small delights I see every day in all His creation, or in sitting down (with a cup of hot coffee) and just listening. There is something worth living and worth dying for. I will never claim that life is easier just because I attempt to adhere to Christ's standards and ways. However, I know my aim, I know enough about the reason, and I know I don't want to spend a day away. If anything, there are much more trials, but it is a sign of God's refining process - much like gold. First the dirt is cleared away, then a good washing, followed by utter meltdown, reforming into something new, and being used for something. In the midst of it all, it is easy to loose site of the grand scheme. Yet God, so rich in mercy and grace, reached out beyond all my shortcomings, to take hold of me when I was to weak to reach for Him. Grace so amazing and divine...

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