Monday, October 25, 2004


Home again after yet another long day... why is this marking period so fast? Low key work day that had some ups and downs. It's really amazing to see the impact Travis had. Today alone at least 4 different students thanked me in their own way for being at the service yesterday. Sometimes I wonder if they realize that I wasn't there to be the supportive teacher, but that I too, just like they do, needed the chance to grieve, hope, and wait. I thank God that Travis is with Him now... and I am just as grateful that it has sparked a fire into so many others. We stop and think about what really matters. In the days and weeks that lie ahead, it will be a difficult task to return to some sense of "life as normal", yet we must never forget. We slap on our trendy and worthy intended Live Strong Lance Armstrong bracelets for the cause. We want to stop and help now. Will we be so attentive in another year, how about six months, one month, or even just for one week? Will we pause and think about what really matters? Will the reason for life itself be our ambition, or will we forget the point because we were distracted by yet another event, or lack there of.

Doors open for this season, and I want to run right through them. However, I am held back to some degree. I must wait not to enter the door, but to reach through and await the day that someone else will reach out to come through. I cannot run into a burning building without the proper attire and training. I have those. However, I still cannot run in through these doors until I am asked inside... to trespass would simply be to enable yet another reason to stand in opposition to the fact that the building will eventually collapse under these conditions.

I also stop to wonder... how can I reach the unreachable. I know that as my job, I must do all that I can to ensure we have "no child left behind" and that every student reaches their potential in a way that is suitable to them. Yet when it comes down to it, I am a mere human. I am limited by time, resources, energy, and how it is received by others. My standards for myself and others are high... yet, they aren't unreachable. We must push towards perfection. Live life as if all things are possible through Christ, and rest in His presence when exhausted, and continue on in the hope that He works all things together for His perfect plan.

I want so much to do it all, but that is not up to me... it is His alone to uphold. About 7 years ago I heard a great introduction to a song... it isn't a song that I particularly cared for... but the first line spoke volumes.... "Until you find something worth dying for, you're not really living." Lofty dreams and great intentions won't suffice... I realize this frail life, as insane as it can feel, is not mine to constrain. I have no control at all... but I know that laying down my ways, thoughts, and everything else thrown my way... spilling all my baggage at the foot of the Cross will allow such freedom and joy to celebrate in His awesome presence.

Current music: Majesty


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